I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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