His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
