3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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