Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
