Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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