I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
