porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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