Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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