just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
