do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
