idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
