Swine flu is the new snow day.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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