i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
