Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
