I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
