Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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