what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
