I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
