Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
