Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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