i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
