but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
