we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
And then the night went full on bisexual.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
