after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
