take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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