Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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