If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
The air taste purple.
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