you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
