when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
