He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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