you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
