Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
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