Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
