I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Randomize
