Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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