She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
