he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
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