You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
