I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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