She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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