WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
