omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
This baby is an asshole
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
