Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
