the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Randomize