I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
