Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
