you're like a bully in the Christmas story
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
