He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
