Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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