If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
