he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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