I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
