so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
