your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
where are you?
Hypothermia
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
