Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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