i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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