Only a mothe r could love this liver
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
