If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
