First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
