I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
