He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I believe in your delicious
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
