I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
